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Thursday, February 23, 2006

412-519-2792 hit fuzz and zapper up on the low


here is your chance to have a direct line to FNZ. this is # to my sidekick. you can call me whenever the hell you feel like. call to say what you want to see on the site. over here at FNZ inkorpified, we don't give a shit. we will put whatever we think is funny on this site. think of us as a buffett of piss yourself. call just to say go fuck yourself. no call goes unanswered. # again is 412-519-2792.

late

p.s. thanks mike jones for this great idea

Man i Hate pokerstars

i was playing .50/1 ring on stars yesterday and i flushed my whole 200 bankroll in 2 hands. the first had i picked up AA in MP and raised it to $4. i got 2 callers. flop comes 39T it is checked to me and i bet $5. 1 caller. turn is another 3. i bet $5 and get raised. i push and get called by quad 3's. the next hand i got beat i had AA and call a $3 raise. guy in front of re-raises. first raiser folds and i go all in. raiser calls and has QQ. and what do you know, a Q comes on the turn knocking my account back down to 0. i might just quit playin cards.................SIKE

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Valentines Day Ideas

Some of you have this problem I'm sure. I don't because I don't have a girlfriend, wife or even a female that occasionally rubs up against me on accident. Anyway some of you are troubled with this and the holiday that exploits this problem is only a week away. Everybody has to get their significant other SOMETHING on Valentines day, or they'll be pulling up a seat next to me on the loser couch. Maybe, just maybe this is the year to go that extra mile and really show her what you think about her. Jewelry, roses and chocolate are what you usually opt for, but lets be honest, you don't really like her enough for jewelry and if you go for the other to she thinks you're cheap and she'll eat at your ass until Christmas and you'll have to spend more in the long run for the make up gift.I say why not add a little laughter this Valentines day and send something to her at the job that will have all her co-workers talking the rest of the day guaranteed. Rest assured none of her girlfriends will have received a delivery quite like this. Plus when you go through with it, and she gets pissed, you can easily cop out and say something like, "Honey, I thought it was funny.. I thought you'd appreciate the humor in it." Added bonus is you can get away with telling your buddies when they ask you what you got her "I got her shit!" If all else fails, it was cheap enough to still get her a real gift (pussy). So go ahead, nut up this year and send her a fecalgram! Somebody's gotta do this, and send me the story. I would definitely do it, but I can't get a broad of my own.

Finally

well it is official. Me and Fuzz, after a long drawn out search, have finally found a house in huskerville Nebraska. it isn't the nicest place in the world but it suits us just fine. I don't have a picture of it so i have enclosed a picture of this section 8 gem that slightly resembles it.




Saturday, February 04, 2006

FREE PORN FOR ALL


Hey! FNZ fans ( if there are any out there ) Since the holidays have just passed and i didn't get any of you guys anything for winter solsistce. I am giving away my own personal password to homeclips.com

here is all that you have to do.

1. click on the link that i have conveniently provided for you

2. go to members area

3. username: zapper1000
password: zapper1



there you go you pederasses............FREE PORN....................YOU ARE WELCOME

Thursday, February 02, 2006

GO STEELERS




Being born and raised on the Northside of Pittsburgh PA, i am huge Steeler fan. This Sunday i get to watch the phenom Ben Roethlisberger lead us into the Superbowl History books and avenge the bad taste that Superbowl XXX left in the mouths of Steeler fans across the country........YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Harrah's Casino is Payin My Bills

well. i am finally back in America. And fortunately for me I am living in Nebraska with fuzz. That means that we will be finally taking the site to a whole new level. I am not sure what that new level will be but I am sure that we will have fun gettin drunk tryin to come up with it. anyway, i went to harrah's casino last weekend and sat down at the paigow table. ( for those that don't know how to play please visit: pagat.com ) After about 10 hands i look down and see that i got dealt a royal flush, which at the time i thought payed out 2000-1 on the bonus. i dropped my cards on the table and was just sittin there sayin on my god. the 2 people that i was there with were askin what was goin on. i was like, i just got a royal flush. everyone at the table was goin nuts, high fivin me and tryin to hug me. anyway, after it was all said and done, i only got payed out 150-1 which was good for 800 bucks. so remember kids, if you gamble you can end up like me and this guy:


Cunt


Thank god I'm back from that hellhole. It was the worst deployment I've ever been a part of. It was good though, I got a chance to see some things that I'd never been exposed to before. For instance what a MEO case is all about. Apparently the word cunt is different than all others. You call a female co-worker a cunt and all hell breaks loose. You can get in trouble for saying that even if the accuser didn't hear you say it. Just the mention of the word cunt and everyone shivers like you have gone too far. Personally I like to use the word more now. I liked it before, I love it now. Also I learned that there are homosexuals out there in today's Armed forces. The policy needs to be revised to don't ask, don't tell, don't mention and don't even think the obvious. Sure enough, got in trouble for that too. I learned also that sending pornographic email on a government computer is a more serious offense than Driving under the influence. I received a harsher punishment for that than when I got into a high speed chase with cops at .22 BAC. What a crazy world. So all in all, good to be back. I lost some weight, a stripe, and 2 games of Madden while I was away, but I'm still here and kickin. Barely though, I only lasted about 2 hours at the bar on my return. I guess I stayed there longer, but anything after 2 hours is just heresay... DAMN YOU REDBULL AND VODKA!

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