Fuzz and Zapper's Race to a Million

Some of you have this problem I'm sure. I don't because I don't have a girlfriend, wife or even a female that occasionally rubs up against me on accident. Anyway some of you are troubled with this and the holiday that exploits this problem is only a week away. Everybody has to get their significant other SOMETHING on Valentines day, or they'll be pulling up a seat next to me on the loser couch. Maybe, just maybe this is the year to go that extra mile and really show her what you think about her. Jewelry, roses and chocolate are what you usually opt for, but lets be honest, you don't really like her enough for jewelry and if you go for the other to she thinks you're cheap and she'll eat at your ass until Christmas and you'll have to spend more in the long run for the make up gift.I say why not add a little laughter this Valentines day and send something to her at the job that will have all her co-workers talking the rest of the day guaranteed. Rest assured none of her girlfriends will have received a delivery quite like this. Plus when you go through with it, and she gets pissed, you can easily cop out and say something like, "Honey, I thought it was funny.. I thought you'd appreciate the humor in it." Added bonus is you can get away with telling your buddies when they ask you what you got her "I got her shit!" If all else fails, it was cheap enough to still get her a real gift (pussy). So go ahead, nut up this year and send her a fecalgram! Somebody's gotta do this, and send me the story. I would definitely do it, but I can't get a broad of my own.