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| Welcome To Perm's Advice Column |
| If you have a burning question that you need answered, don't hesitate to e-mail Perm. With his vast knowledge of love and relationships, he can surely answer any question you may have. |
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| Where are You? |
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| Dear Cirilla, Funny you should ask. I was just kicking around the idea of going on a hunt for a woman that would want to have sex with me constantly without me having to pay her or beat her up.. This is going to sound kind of weird, but do you want to get married? Your search is over. You have found that very man. If you are willing to do all, well maybe not all, but let's be safe and call it a majority of the work in the sack, I will have sex with you any time you want. I guarantee I won't call you a slut, unless your into that kind of thing. Hope to hear from you soon. Perm |
| Dear Perm, How do I find a man that will have sex with me at the drop of a dime, without him thinking I am a slut. Cirilla New Mexico |
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| Throwing up and throwing away my life... |
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| Dear Loser, Don't worry kid, I used to be in loser denial myself. Eventually you have to dig real deep and pull your head out of your ass and get on with your life. Lets shed a wee bit of reality on this situation. What seems more likely, your boyfriend decides to up and leave his girlfriend of 3 years (it's a miracle it lasted that long, hopefully the poor chap was getting some strange on the side) because she threw up and acted like an idiot when she was drunk? Or my theory, that he finally saw a way to get out of the relationship with his psychotic girlfriend and jumped! I'm guessing that you're not quite the girl he had in mind that night 3 years ago when he lied and told you he loved you so he could get up in your guts. I say that because no man in their right mind would commit to someone who has to seek self help because they got drunk and threw up. THATS WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO! Being that I have to help everyone that comes to me, even dumbfucks like yourself, here's my advice. Take what you've already done and build on it. You're going about it backwards. Don't fix what you have started, BUILD. So you got wasted and threw up, good! Build your tolerance a little by drinking to excess 5-6 times a week. Then, and this is key, screw every one of his friends. Become a total slut. Everyone will love you, well the guys will anyway. Make sure you're a real champ in the sack too. Once his friends start talking, he'll be back on your team in no time, just to show his buddies that he's still got it. Then to keep him, tell him you're knocked up. That'll buy you a few more months. Now go buy a t-shirt from us, I just saved you a shit load of money that you'd be blowing on shrinks and books and they won't even get your boyfriend back! My way is guaranteed! |
| Dear Perm, My boyfriend of almost 3 years is feeling the need to break up with me. One night we had some friends over, and we all were drinking and planning on going to a club. Well, I had way too much to drink, and acted like a fool in front of these people, and I was getting sick and everything. Now, I'm feeling worse than ever about it, and I really want to improve this situation, and make him happy, but he says he's had enough. I'm so scared right now. I love him so much, and he doesn't believe me that I can make improvements. I've improved a lot already and I think I'm somewhat of a better person because of it, but now I'm even more determined to get our relationship back on track! I'm so sad right now, what should I do? I've already begun to read self help books, and I wouldn't mind going back to my counselor. I don't know what else to do. He's so important to me, and I don't want to lose him!!! Dumped and Desperate |
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