Got one for the Thumb... What's Next?

Pittsburgh, PA - With Pittsburgh’s 26-year quest to win its fifth Super Bowl ring – “one for the thumb” – completed Sunday night with a victory over the Seahawks, one perverted Steelers fan is hoping next year will finally bring “one for the penis.” “We’ve got that one hand completely filled up now, and I see no need to start on another hand right away. Why not go to other parts of the body?” said Kevin Hummel, Duquesne Light employee (apparently he jumps up on light poles and fixes them with a bucket truck or something). “And if I could have my preference, I’d go with a penis ring. They can really enhance the sexual experience. Hummel says his love of all things Steelers fuels his desire to have the team turn its attentions to winning a penile ring. “Like any true Pittsburgher, I love the Steelers more than anything,” he said. “So if I could make the Steelers part of my lovemaking by wearing a commemorative Super Bowl cock ring, it would be very special to me – and to my partner, as well, I’m sure.” Hummel is hopeful the “One for the Penis” motto will catch on around the city as the Steelers try for a repeat and a record sixth Super Bowl title in 2006. He even plans to pitch it to Steelers officials in hopes of getting team approval and the rights to marketing and selling the slogan on officially licensed team apparel and merchandise.“I’m hoping the Rooney Family will give me their blessing,” said Hummel. “I’m thinking of a slogan like: “One for the Penis: Let’s Get Sexual Heaven in ’07.” But some people have told me I shouldn’t be too hopeful, as the Rooney’s don’t really seem like a “Win one for the Penis” kind of family. But I’ll guess I’ll soon find out.”


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